Initially, after moving to Philly our lives were pretty busy, Ian didn’t have any time off work and dived straight into his new role in America whereas I was at home taking care of all the jobs and tasks that moving creates. Even though I wasn’t working I was constantly on the go, either cleaning, unpacking, getting items for the home that we were missing, setting up and paying bills, building flat pack furniture, grocery shopping, making dinner, all the boring things you don’t really want to read about, or do for that matter. It took around a month and a half for all of this to settle down and it was time for me to figure out what I was going to do with my life for the next two years (cue Rachel’s first meltdown).
When still in the UK, in the months leading up to our leaving date, friends and strangers seemed so envious of my soon to be unemployed status, but I don’t really remember being that excited about not working. Yes, I joked about being a ‘kept woman’, spending all of Ian’s money whilst he was at the office, and living out the dream of being a lady who lunches, but I didn’t really know what I was going to do with all my time. Don’t get me wrong, I was excited to move on from my job, live in America, start something new away from the 9 to 5 routine, but 24 hours of me, making my own decisions on what I want to do, who I want to be, and what I want to achieve? Please, I can barely decide what I want for dinner. Seriously, a few weeks ago it took me fifteen minutes to decide what I wanted from the takeaway, and I got that annoyed with myself I just ordered a pita bread with hummus. Nothing else. I couldn’t decide if I was hungry, turns out I was. Do you understand now?
Pita and hummus! I’m still annoyed.
Now, you may be offended by my next confession…but I miss working, I do. I miss interaction with people, I miss having set aims and goals, I miss earning my own money and I miss having somewhere to be Monday to Friday. Now I’m not going to lie, I don’t actually miss working if you know what I mean, I don’t miss my old pals ‘Word’ and ‘Excel’ and I don’t miss running for the bus in the rain, or people stinking out the office with their tuna sandwiches (guilty) and I don’t miss spending warm summer days in an office with no windows, I haven’t gone insane.
Even though I’m at home I generally treat my day as a work day, I get up early, I go to the gym and then I do whatever I have planned for that day, giving myself an hour ‘lunch break’ in-between. That may seem strange to some people, but if I don’t do this I will become that girl who forgets to brush her teeth in the morning (has happened), doesn’t know what day it is (has happened) and finds cheesy puffs knotted in her hair (no comment).
One reason I started this blog was I needed something to focus on, yeah I needed something to ‘do’ but I could ‘do’ shopping and getting my nails done, I could do it very well in-fact, but it probably won’t get me very far in life. I feel like I’m doing something productive when I’m writing and I enjoy it, it’s a way of letting people back home know what we have been up to, hopefully people can relate to it in some way, and it’s nice when people tell me they enjoy reading it.
A blog was only one of the many things I claimed I was going to do with my time here, I also said I was going to do more art (I have done near to zero art), I was going to do more cooking (I’ve dabbled a little), I was going to learn the guitar (HA), and probably something about flying to the moon. In life I think we generally focus on the things we haven’t done and I do this quite a lot, especially now as I have less excuses, but we often have high expectations and compare ourselves to others – by now I think I was supposed to be super fit, look like a Victoria Secret Model, as well as be a successful artist/writer/star in the Real Housewives of Philadelphia, or something along those lines. There are lots of things I haven’t done so far, but there are also a lot of things I have done, many of these are small and may seem totally insignificant to some, but they have made up the most part of my life recently and will probably make up your lives too, however are generally forgotten in the bigger picture. I’ve come to realise these small things, whether it’s maintaining the home on a daily basis or starting a new gym class, they are just as important as everything else and I am proud of what I have achieved so far.
We have now been in America five months and I still don’t really have a clear path set out in-front me, in terms of what I want to do with my life whilst I am here, or when we go back to the UK, but I can see that I’m definitely further than I was three months ago, so my plan at the moment is to just go with the flow and not beat myself up about it. In the meantime I have a lot to look forward to, firstly we are off to New York City in December (AHH) and then back to the UK at Christmas (sarcasm, dry humour, Dairy Milk, roast dinners…come at me England!!!!!).
Not to mention we now have a wedding to plan for come October 2016 (weeeeeeeeeeee).
What are you looking forward to?